Posts Tagged ‘money’

Sink more money into that bitch

October 15, 2008 3 comments

(or where I pontificate on sink design and how it pertains to making money like water on the internet)

Underdogblogger's Sink

Underdogblogger's Sink

Stick with it……This is my bathroom sink. I hate cleaning it. And I’ll tell you why. See, my bathroom sink has a design floor in it. There is a spot in front of the plughole that seems to pool water. More importantly, when I’m cleaning my bathroom, this spot pools dirt infested water. See, I live in London. We have very hard water here. Limescale is the enemy! And to effectively remove limescale without using industrial strength bleach and other nasty chemicals…..which I really prefer to keep out of my household as much as possible, you have to apply a little elbow grease.

Underdogblogger's Sink With Debris Arrow

Oh, how you taunt me you debris collecting area

I’m not afraid of mucking in. I’m not afraid of scrubbing a little. I think it builds a bit of character. I mean – I don’t trust anyone who isn’t at least prepared to clean up their own shit. So I use one of those little scourers to clean my bathroom. A nice eco-friendly cleaning solution (take your pick) and a little bit of scrubbing with the scourer takes the limescale right off. Problem is, little bits of limescale and scourer debris form and pool right in front of the plughole.  Yep – right there – lookit right where the green arrow is pointing. It’s a pain to wash down the plughole. You have to sort of push it with your hand or sponge to encourage those little devils into the waste pipe. That isn’t how it should be. It’s a sink…by definition, water (well anything liquid really) should just roll downwards into the waste pipe. I know the debris are composed of little bits of solid, but they should be carried by the water…..they aren’t that heavy.

Stick with it, this post gets better….
So, there’s a design floor in my sink. Bad! I don’t like it. I went looking for a new one, ’cause these little things do bug me. But you know what. I couldn’t find anywhere that actually had a working model for me to test. Nowhere in my local bathroom specialist shop (erm ok, Wickes and B&Q) could I test a working bathroom sink. Sure, they look pretty. But they don’t have running water plumbed in. How can I test them? How can I see if they are better than mine? I think this is a fundamental floor in bathroom sales. They should have a few different sinks plumbed in, and give you the option of running your routine on them to test them out. You know, brush your teeth – check the toothpaste is properly propelled down the hole by the force of the water. Do a little cleaning, make sure it scrubs up nice and that the debris are propelled down the plughole. That would be cool. I could get behind that. Heck, I would have bought a new sink if I found one that worked! But no. All I find are various dry, though very sparkly looking bathroom sinks, just waiting to be swapped for cash. Hmph…not impressed.

Now water flow is very difficult to model. And I expect your average budget sink is not designed with complex water flow models on a CAD system. I expect they are made in a roughly pleasing looking shape that basically tapers towards the plughole. So I’m on the lookout for the most sharply contoured sink I can find. That should do it.  That should sink the damn debris.  Oh-hohohoho.  C’mon not even a small chuckle?  Geez, lighten up.

Stick with it……

The very notion that you can make money online by purchasing a product which you cannot test out is the same….erm ok, not the same, but take a small leap of faith. All the products look shiny, just like the sinks. They all look like they will help funnel piles of income towards your wallet much like the sink looks like it should funnel whatever is thrown into it down the plughole. But, internet traffic is like water; pretty tricky to model, pretty tricky to predict. So the system cannot be foolproof. Imagine what it would be like if the pros took an about turn and started allowing you to test the methods before you paid up, much like I want to test out some sinks before I hand over my dosh.


Stick with it………

There’s an interesting thought. Do you think they would still be wallowing in money? I’m not so sure myself. I suspect, much like my sink, much of what is out there would do nothing more than trap money tantelisingly close to your wallet, but not actually in it, much like my sink traps debris oh-so-close to the plughole, but doesn’t actually deliver the final push. See, the sink is like the search engine….the water represents internet traffic and the tap – erm the tap is the spark of life that makes these people exist and by pure serendipitous circumstance sit on their pc looking for your webpage…nevermind, the tap isn’t important….Let’s consider the golden egg of internet marketing – organic search traffic. You want the tap to open, traffic to flow into the sink of the internet and be funnelled into the plughole that is your webpage. Yes! No! Wait – I’m not saying your webpage is a plughole or in any way shape or form equivalent to a sewage transport mechanism. But yes, you want that traffic like water flowing into your plughole-like webpage. What you don’t want is for the traffic to get stuck, the debris to sit there, next to your plughole-like webpage, but not actually in it (can you be in a webpage?). Now whether we are selling a product ourselves, affiliate marketing a product or relying on adsense, organic search traffic will be our golden egg. Crack that little bugger and you will have golden omelets forever. Social traffic is nice – the community is cool, the people are fun, but they ain’t gonna make you rich. Well I suppose they might if you build up enough trust and rapport with them and then flog them something. But then it would have to be of real value – well it would for me. I wouldn’t want to sell some crap to my friends, even if they are only virtual buddies. I’m not saying all internet marketers would sell their grandmother, but it is the sort of industry where your morals can quickly slide out from under you. If you dabble in selling a weight loss product you don’t believe in, or a method you don’t follow, or some dating site with a webpage that preys on people’s fear of being alone, then your morals are on perched on top of a banana on a tiled floor, and getting heavier by the minute….pretty soon; morals; flat on back. Anyhoo, back to the old sink and plughole. Given that we want organic search traffic, what products or courses should I purchase? The ones that could teach how to get organic search traffic.

Stick with it…..

Consider that piece of software or that ebook you are buying. Is it the most sharply contoured method that will have traffic and money flowing into your pocket almost as quickly as water flows into the plughole? Is it my ideal sink? Or will it simply take your money and leave the traffic sitting in a puddle, much like my sink takes leaves my cleaning debris? So much of this industry is funded by continually placing fear into people’s minds. Making them believe that they are only one more secret away from being an internet millionaire.

But then, I’m not making millions flogging another ebook you don’t need. So I don’t really know what I’m talking about 🙂

I do know though, that bathroom sink design needs to be re-thought. Maybe I should do away with the sink and just have a big pipe. I don’t really ever run water into my bathroom sink anyway. Its only job is to catch my toothpaste when I spit and get a little dirty every week so that I have to clean it, and go about my struggle of washing down the debris.  At what point will the sink of the internet become the plughole?  When will the search engine be the internet?  Maybe I should be the search engine.

Now while I’m on the subject of water. Here’s something bizarre. I don’t really get modern art. Kind of like I don’t get freeform atonal jazz. I just miss the point. But there is this artist who placed an istallation in a museum shop. The piece? A bucket of water. ” Wow” you say?  “Deep” you say?  “Symbolic” you say? Here is the bizzare…to get the water into the bucket, he employed a plumber to run a pipe from the nearest bathroom to the shop, filled the bucket from the pipe and then had the plumber remove the piping again so there was no trace of the bucket filling. Hmmmmmm. Much like the relationship of this anecdote to the rest of this post about making money like water, I just don’t get it. I told you, I know some strange stuff.

Now, try not to use the phrase “Stick with it” in conversation today….. 🙂